I'm not going to lie...this has been the most challenging, most emotional, most rewarding semester of my college career.
Where did I leave off last? With frustrations?
Those didn't go away.
Since I last posted, one of the sweetest little girls in my class moved away--when she said she was going to North Dakota, she wasn't kidding. I think each day as I enter my classroom what she must be doing in the kindergarten class she's in now...I wonder if she is okay.
The student who has been such a struggle this semester has been moved to the last tier of a psychological program...where he will more than likely be moved to another school next year in an exclusive BED program. My heart breaks for him. Somewhere between my last post and this one he has been placed on a small dose of medicine that turned this angry little boy into someone who is loving. He still seeks attention in all the wrong ways but he has changed--no doubt about it. I wonder what his home life is like, I wonder what goes on in this little boys head--I wondered all semester if he was learning anything...and the answer is ABSOLUTELY. He has learned so much despite all of his crazy behavior. I just pray that God watches out for him.
Despite frustrations. Despite how TIRED I have been at the end of most days--I have grown attached to 18 of the sweetest kids around.
Maybe I'm biased, but I started this year thinking I had the worst class of kindergarten children imaginable--only to grow so attached to them that I believe they're the best around. They know more about life than 5 and 6 and 7 year olds should know. They know heartache. They know street life. They know poor and they know rich. They are too mature for their age--because most of them have had to grow up too fast.
That scares me for them too.
One of the poorest little girls in my class did not return from spring break--her family moved her to another school--and I wonder what will come of her. Where will she end up? Will she even finish school? My worry is that her family will keep running away from problems and not take care of this little girl who needs to be learning. She has the potential to be the smartest kid in school, but she's SO BEHIND because of her family.
Some of my kids I know are going to go so far. They've all impressed me beyond what I ever thought could happen. They have all learned. I love each of them very much and I would do anything in the world for them. I wish them the best in their school career--
Kids with behavior problems have shown me they can behave. Kids who were behind at the beginning of the year have excelled. They're all going to move on to first grade. They're all going to make it--at least for another year.
This Friday we will have our pizza party for our behavior jar and they are all so excited. I'm excited too =).
These kids are amazing. They're beautiful...they're smart...and they are the kids who changed my world this semester and showed me what it means to love kids who aren't yours.
I've been blessed through frustrations--I have been loved on when I felt like not moving on--and I will never forget this time in my life.
Tuesday, April 24, 2012
Wednesday, February 8, 2012
It has been a week...
It is only half way through the week and it has definitely already been a struggle.
I'm tired. I hate to feel the way I do when it comes to starting a new school day--I love all of my kids. I love teaching them and I love seeing their light bulbs all of a sudden turn on--but I'm exhausted from spending more time on discipline than I am on teaching.
It's not fair to the rest of my students.
We have one student who I have tried my hardest with to spend one-on-one time with. I have tried to do positive reinforcement with him. I have tried figuring out his interests. I WANT him to learn. I ask him to come learn with us...and it seems he only wants to act up. He only wants to be out of control. He is DYING for attention that I cannot give him.
I am worn out from the thought of going to school each day and straining my voice so my other students can hear me.
It saddens me so much that this little boy will not learn the way he should.
Today was the worst of them all, and it was only half a day of school.
While we are trying to ignore his behaviors and teach the other students to stay on task and ignore his behaviors, he only gets louder and violent.
We have to tell our students if they ever feel like they are in danger to tell us.
We have to finally get to the point where we CAN'T ignore him, and we have to take him to choice or the principal.
He's in kindergarten.
He should be learning.
I feel like I should be able to teach him.
It goes from shaking stuff, to pouring stuff out, to screaming, to crawling around on the floor, to knocking stuff off desks, to getting in my face and the other teachers faces and the students faces, to pushing the other students, to running out the back door...there is no end.
I don't want to vent about my internship...I want to tell of the GREAT stories---I WANT to highlight my good kids who never get in trouble. I want to tell everyone about my students who's handwriting is improving and who are excited to write a sentence with an exclamation point or a question mark...but the top of my mind is focused on this one child.
It isn't fair.
Any advice?
I'm tired. I hate to feel the way I do when it comes to starting a new school day--I love all of my kids. I love teaching them and I love seeing their light bulbs all of a sudden turn on--but I'm exhausted from spending more time on discipline than I am on teaching.
It's not fair to the rest of my students.
We have one student who I have tried my hardest with to spend one-on-one time with. I have tried to do positive reinforcement with him. I have tried figuring out his interests. I WANT him to learn. I ask him to come learn with us...and it seems he only wants to act up. He only wants to be out of control. He is DYING for attention that I cannot give him.
I am worn out from the thought of going to school each day and straining my voice so my other students can hear me.
It saddens me so much that this little boy will not learn the way he should.
Today was the worst of them all, and it was only half a day of school.
While we are trying to ignore his behaviors and teach the other students to stay on task and ignore his behaviors, he only gets louder and violent.
We have to tell our students if they ever feel like they are in danger to tell us.
We have to finally get to the point where we CAN'T ignore him, and we have to take him to choice or the principal.
He's in kindergarten.
He should be learning.
I feel like I should be able to teach him.
It goes from shaking stuff, to pouring stuff out, to screaming, to crawling around on the floor, to knocking stuff off desks, to getting in my face and the other teachers faces and the students faces, to pushing the other students, to running out the back door...there is no end.
I don't want to vent about my internship...I want to tell of the GREAT stories---I WANT to highlight my good kids who never get in trouble. I want to tell everyone about my students who's handwriting is improving and who are excited to write a sentence with an exclamation point or a question mark...but the top of my mind is focused on this one child.
It isn't fair.
Any advice?
Thursday, February 2, 2012
3 1/2 weeks down...12 to go
Not that I am counting. I have let the past few weeks slip away without saying how my semester is going. To say the least it got off to a rocky start. I am realizing what it means to have lesson plans every day, to have to be at school every day, to have to be in charge and to make sure my students are gaining the education they not only need but deserve.
I am realizing what it means to get up at 5:00 every day, spend 8 or more hours at school, and come home to do more school.
I am realizing what it means to go to school all day on Friday's and then go straight to work.
I am realizing what it means to love my students in ways I never thought possible. To see their hearts and to see that they are these young moldable minds is a blessing in disguise.
To be attached to a student is something I never thought imaginable.
I have had my heart completely broken over the past few weeks as I have heard stories from a little girl who wanted to be with her Mommy because "Mommy is getting her baby taken out of her"...or from that same little girl "we're moving back to Mexico because Mommy and Daddy no get along"..
Another little girl comes to school late every day and informs us that she's moving to North Dakota soon.
Then there are the happy moments when I see kids finally get it, and when I have little boys tell me "I enjoyed you today Miss. Whitehurst".
I can see the light bulbs turning on. I can see them starting to try. They want to move on to first grade. They want to learn.
I can see my little girl who thinks she's not smart because her writing isn't good and she doesn't do things as quickly get SO EXCITED when I compliment her "first grade handwriting".
I see one of my more difficult children get excited and proud of himself for staying on green all day.
I have had to implement several behavior systems because my classroom management is below par.
We now not only have a behavior jar but also behavior clips. Each time I catch a student doing well, or behaving, or doing a random act of kindness they receive a clip from me. At the end of the week they are allowed to come to my prize store and "buy" things from me with their clips. Tomorrow makes the 3rd week I have done this system, and so far they are starting to catch on. They realize if they are told more than once to stop doing something or TO do something they have to "pay" me a clip, and the more clips they have the better prize they can get.
I also implemented the "stop-light" system last Friday where the color dot they get sent home each day is determined by what color they are on at the end of the day. If they are on red they have no chance to go back to yellow or green, but if they are only moved to yellow once they can move back to green.
So far that also seems to be working.
Today was more of a rough day. It was an "off" day so to speak because of an awards assembly...and one of our little boys decided to randomly disappear throughout the day. A lot of the kids were on yellow today and several had to "pay" me a clip.
But today is one day out of many.
Tomorrow will be better, and each day I get to learn something new. Funny I am the teacher yet I am learning too =)
I am realizing what it means to get up at 5:00 every day, spend 8 or more hours at school, and come home to do more school.
I am realizing what it means to go to school all day on Friday's and then go straight to work.
I am realizing what it means to love my students in ways I never thought possible. To see their hearts and to see that they are these young moldable minds is a blessing in disguise.
To be attached to a student is something I never thought imaginable.
I have had my heart completely broken over the past few weeks as I have heard stories from a little girl who wanted to be with her Mommy because "Mommy is getting her baby taken out of her"...or from that same little girl "we're moving back to Mexico because Mommy and Daddy no get along"..
Another little girl comes to school late every day and informs us that she's moving to North Dakota soon.
Then there are the happy moments when I see kids finally get it, and when I have little boys tell me "I enjoyed you today Miss. Whitehurst".
I can see the light bulbs turning on. I can see them starting to try. They want to move on to first grade. They want to learn.
I can see my little girl who thinks she's not smart because her writing isn't good and she doesn't do things as quickly get SO EXCITED when I compliment her "first grade handwriting".
I see one of my more difficult children get excited and proud of himself for staying on green all day.
I have had to implement several behavior systems because my classroom management is below par.
We now not only have a behavior jar but also behavior clips. Each time I catch a student doing well, or behaving, or doing a random act of kindness they receive a clip from me. At the end of the week they are allowed to come to my prize store and "buy" things from me with their clips. Tomorrow makes the 3rd week I have done this system, and so far they are starting to catch on. They realize if they are told more than once to stop doing something or TO do something they have to "pay" me a clip, and the more clips they have the better prize they can get.
I also implemented the "stop-light" system last Friday where the color dot they get sent home each day is determined by what color they are on at the end of the day. If they are on red they have no chance to go back to yellow or green, but if they are only moved to yellow once they can move back to green.
So far that also seems to be working.
Today was more of a rough day. It was an "off" day so to speak because of an awards assembly...and one of our little boys decided to randomly disappear throughout the day. A lot of the kids were on yellow today and several had to "pay" me a clip.
But today is one day out of many.
Tomorrow will be better, and each day I get to learn something new. Funny I am the teacher yet I am learning too =)
Thursday, December 22, 2011
The Beginnings...
Last year one of my good friends decided to do a blog of her life as an intern...and I thought it was a fantastic idea that I wanted to use.
So here it is...MY blog of my internship in a Kindergarten classroom full of 19 adorable, sometimes off the wall, information absorbers...also known as my students.
I finished my one a weeks a couple of weeks ago, and I can say I only got a GLIMPSE of what my coming semester will consist of. Being there every day I can only imagine will be a completely different experience than only being there once a week.
I look forward to seeing my kids every day. I fell in love with seeing these kids every week--I fell in love with having hugs and compliments and having them ALL want to sit with me at lunch.
They're hard to work with sometimes but the idea that I am helping mold these kids education is what makes it so amazing and worth while.
These kids are JUST starting out. They have the next twelve years to look back and either say "My Kindergarten teacher was who I remember" or "I really didn't like her all that much"--I'd like to say my kids will say the first. I want to be the teacher who makes a difference NOW, in the beginning, sort of like my OWN kindergarten teacher did--because 18 years later I still keep up with my kindergarten teacher.
I want to see these kids who are difficult to work with come out at the end of the year and say they enjoy school.
My first project with these kids is to work on their behavior--to have them hold each other accountable to how they act in class. I will have a behavior jar in which they will receive a marble in the jar each time I catch the ENTIRE class behaving and on task. When I say entire class, I mean the entire class. If, at the end of the semester, they reach a certain goal then they will receive a pizza party.
This will be no easy task for them at first--it's a RARE occasion that these wonderful little 5 and 6 year olds are ALL doing the right thing at the same time--but I do hope that this will teach them the value of doing something well, and the value of holding each other to doing well.
So begins the every day internship on January 9th--for now I continue to relax on my Christmas break (or at least try to) and prepare for the next 3 months of working with young, moldable minds.
So here it is...MY blog of my internship in a Kindergarten classroom full of 19 adorable, sometimes off the wall, information absorbers...also known as my students.
I finished my one a weeks a couple of weeks ago, and I can say I only got a GLIMPSE of what my coming semester will consist of. Being there every day I can only imagine will be a completely different experience than only being there once a week.
I look forward to seeing my kids every day. I fell in love with seeing these kids every week--I fell in love with having hugs and compliments and having them ALL want to sit with me at lunch.
They're hard to work with sometimes but the idea that I am helping mold these kids education is what makes it so amazing and worth while.
These kids are JUST starting out. They have the next twelve years to look back and either say "My Kindergarten teacher was who I remember" or "I really didn't like her all that much"--I'd like to say my kids will say the first. I want to be the teacher who makes a difference NOW, in the beginning, sort of like my OWN kindergarten teacher did--because 18 years later I still keep up with my kindergarten teacher.
I want to see these kids who are difficult to work with come out at the end of the year and say they enjoy school.
My first project with these kids is to work on their behavior--to have them hold each other accountable to how they act in class. I will have a behavior jar in which they will receive a marble in the jar each time I catch the ENTIRE class behaving and on task. When I say entire class, I mean the entire class. If, at the end of the semester, they reach a certain goal then they will receive a pizza party.
This will be no easy task for them at first--it's a RARE occasion that these wonderful little 5 and 6 year olds are ALL doing the right thing at the same time--but I do hope that this will teach them the value of doing something well, and the value of holding each other to doing well.
So begins the every day internship on January 9th--for now I continue to relax on my Christmas break (or at least try to) and prepare for the next 3 months of working with young, moldable minds.
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