It has been a week...

It is only half way through the week and it has definitely already been a struggle.
I'm tired. I hate to feel the way I do when it comes to starting a new school day--I love all of my kids. I love teaching them and I love seeing their light bulbs all of a sudden turn on--but I'm exhausted from spending more time on discipline than I am on teaching.
It's not fair to the rest of my students.
We have one student who I have tried my hardest with to spend one-on-one time with. I have tried to do positive reinforcement with him. I have tried figuring out his interests. I WANT him to learn. I ask him to come learn with us...and it seems he only wants to act up. He only wants to be out of control. He is DYING for attention that I cannot give him.
I am worn out from the thought of going to school each day and straining my voice so my other students can hear me.
It saddens me so much that this little boy will not learn the way he should.
Today was the worst of them all, and it was only half a day of school.
While we are trying to ignore his behaviors and teach the other students to stay on task and ignore his behaviors, he only gets louder and violent.
We have to tell our students if they ever feel like they are in danger to tell us.
We have to finally get to the point where we CAN'T ignore him, and we have to take him to choice or the principal.
He's in kindergarten.
He should be learning.
I feel like I should be able to teach him.
It goes from shaking stuff, to pouring stuff out, to screaming, to crawling around on the floor, to knocking stuff off desks, to getting in my face and the other teachers faces and the students faces, to pushing the other students, to running out the back door...there is no end.
I don't want to vent about my internship...I want to tell of the GREAT stories---I WANT to highlight my good kids who never get in trouble. I want to tell everyone about my students who's handwriting is improving and who are excited to write a sentence with an exclamation point or a question mark...but the top of my mind is focused on this one child.
It isn't fair.
Any advice?

3 1/2 weeks down...12 to go

Not that I am counting. I have let the past few weeks slip away without saying how my semester is going. To say the least it got off to a rocky start. I am realizing what it means to have lesson plans every day, to have to be at school every day, to have to be in charge and to make sure  my students are gaining the education they not only need but deserve.
I am realizing what it means to get up at 5:00 every day, spend 8 or more hours at school, and come home to do more school.
I am realizing what it means to go to school all day on Friday's and then go straight to work.
I am realizing what it means to love my students in ways I never thought possible. To see their hearts and to see that they are these young moldable minds is a blessing in disguise.
To be attached to a student is something I never thought imaginable.
I have had my heart completely broken over the past few weeks as I have heard stories from a little girl who wanted to be with her Mommy because "Mommy is getting her baby taken out of her"...or from that same little girl "we're moving back to Mexico because Mommy and Daddy no get along"..
Another little girl comes to school late every day and informs us that she's moving to North Dakota soon.
Then there are the happy moments when I see kids finally get it, and when I have little boys tell me "I enjoyed you today Miss. Whitehurst".
I can see the light bulbs turning on. I can see them starting to try. They want to move on to first grade. They want to learn.
I can see my little girl who thinks she's not smart because her writing isn't good and she doesn't do things as quickly get SO EXCITED when I compliment her "first grade handwriting".
I see one of my more difficult children get excited and proud of himself for staying on green all day.

I have had to implement several behavior systems because my classroom management is below par.
We now not only have a behavior jar but also behavior clips. Each time I catch a student doing well, or behaving, or doing a random act of kindness they receive a clip from me. At the end of the week they are allowed to come to my prize store and "buy" things from me with their clips. Tomorrow makes the 3rd week I have done this system, and so far they are starting to catch on. They realize if they are told more than once to stop doing something or TO do something they have to "pay" me a clip, and the more clips they have the better prize they can get.
I also implemented the "stop-light" system last Friday where the color dot they get sent home each day is determined by what color they are on at the end of the day. If they are on red they have no chance to go back to yellow or green, but if they are only moved to yellow once they can move back to green.
So far that also seems to be working.
Today was more of a rough day. It was an "off" day so to speak because of an awards assembly...and one of our little boys decided to randomly disappear throughout the day. A lot of the kids were on yellow today and several had to "pay" me a clip.
But today is one day out of many.
Tomorrow will be better, and each day I get to learn something new. Funny I am the teacher yet I am learning too =)